“…every twelve seconds in the United States, a man abuses the woman he has promised to love. Every two minutes in the US, a man rapes a woman – it’s usually a woman he knows. Men perpetrate most violence against women - sexual violence, strangulation, murder, stalking, domestic violence, etc. But most men don’t rape, and most of us don’t abuse. Yet we remain silent, and consider these issues “women’s issues.” It’s long past time for that to change. Since our (male) gender is responsible for most of the perpetration, we should be more active in supporting initiatives such as VAWA to end it.”—Ben Atherton-Zeman, performer, activist, and author of a recent Change.org petition. Male feminists, let’s show that we’re here and we support the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA). (via malefeminists)
watched the movie hard candy earlier with ellen page. i don't think i have ever seen such a crazy ass movie. she fucking castrates this guy who she thinks is a pedophile and ties him up, chokes him. it was crazy as fuck.
it was good, but in the most fucked up way possible.
oh my fucking god! have you people even watched this movie?! she DIDN’T castrate him! she made him think she did, which is so much more deliciously evil and wonderful. And she didn’t just think he was a pedophile, she found evidence. kiddie porn in his safe, and he eventually confessed to it as well as being party to the murder of a missing girl.
“The last line was “To be entirely honest, I totally agree with what she did. Pedophilia is fucking disgusting.”
This is a post about why I disagree with that statement, or at least the sentiment.
All I could think was - she did what she did not just because he was a paedophile, much more importantly, it was because he was a murderer (or guilty of inaction when he witnessed the murder of that child).
The idea that, in all likelihood, many people when watching this film thought, ‘He deserved it, fucking paedo’ instead of ‘He deserved it, fucking murderer’ is a horrible thought. Paedophilia is of course a terrible, terrible crime. But their urges are not a choice Who, in the entire world, would ever choose to be sexually attracted to children? They know the consequences if ANYONE was to EVER find out about their thoughts, and they have to deal with that fact for their entire lives. Their choice is to act upon it, not to feel the impulse.
I say this not in defence of the actual crime - obviously child abusers (keep in mind, not all paedophiles are child abusers) must be shown no leniency by the law when they don’t resist, because you can’t allow anyone to do that to a child (or to encourage the source of child porn by downloading it).
Instead, I say this instead because it is simply the truth - and perhaps I’ll lose followers or get hate mail for it, because people don’t like any perceived ‘excuse’ for paedophiles - paedophilia is often viewed by society at large as being just as heinous as murder, and sometimes even more so. But my point has not been to offer any excuse for child abuse, instead my point is to point out what should be more obvious than it is. Some people may have a predisposition to be attracted to children, and I do not think anyone ever has a predisposition to commit murder (I’ve never heard of any such a condition unless you include people who lack empathy, which I would not. In any case, it would be brought about by different factors such as constantly absorbing violent games, books and films, and is not a case of reaching puberty and finding that you have impulses to kill people, as it is for paedophiles finding they are attracted to children instead of simply men or women.) My point in all of this has been to show murder is the far more reprehensible act and should be treated as such.”—
While I was reading this, all I could think of was a conversation I had with a good friend of mine a month or so ago. This friend of mine happens to be a survivor of prolonged incest and multiple rapes. We were speaking about abuse and our own mothers. Although my mother was extraordinarily abusive both mentally and emotionally, I don’t consider myself a victim of abuse, especially when I know exactly what my own very dear friend has had to live through, when I know what very badly abused looks like. My friend, L, flat out told me ‘you were abused. just because she didn’t beat you doesn’t mean she wasn’t abusing you’. That is when I confessed to her that as a teenager, I often wished she would just hit me, at least it would have an ending point, it would be over sooner or later. The emotional and mental bullshit she put me through never seemed to end (I’m in my twenties and married, and she still tries to pull it on me). And if she hit me, at least I would have a reason to fight back. L completely agreed with me about my feelings towards mental abuse, and had come to the same conclusion as a young teen, despite her own physical abuse (not only did her father repeatedly molest and later rape her, both her parents beat her on a regular basis). My point with this seemingly less than relevant story is that when pedophiles act out on their impulses (I can agree with you that pedophiles can’t control who/what they are attracted to no more than you or I can, but they can certainly control their actions) they can leave deep and lasting scars on their victims that can very well lead them to wish they were dead instead of having to live with the memories of their assault. Being a man, and not having to live with the constant threat of sexual violence, I guess I can see how this might escape you. And also, there are lots of things that have been proven to predispose people to murder, and none of them include violent media. Usually it has to do with being exposed to real and actual violence in the home. Typically it involves violence between parents and/or prolonged and extreme violence against the child. It is late and I am on prescription painkillers for a tooth infection, and really am having a hard time finding my words here, but do some research on serial killers and find out how many of them were seriously abused as children by parents or caregivers. It is astonishing. I can only think of one specific example, and that is Henry Lee Lucas. His childhood is so sad, you almost feel sorry for him, despite a body count that ranges between 189 and 600. And this is not to say that every child who is beaten or sexually assaulted grows up to rape and murder, obviously this is not the case. There most be some mental defect, some biological predisposition that when coupled with physical abuse brings about violent urges. Most people engaged in the study of such things agree that it is some combination of nature and nurture, they just aren’t sure the exact ratio, or if there even is one. I think if you were to consult some survivors of child molestation and rape, you might change your tune about what is the more ‘reprehensible’ act. The friend I mentioned above alternates between acting out against herself (cutting and burning herself. she’s almost 30 yrs old btw, not some emo kid looking for attention) and almost gleefully recounting the way she still sometimes fantasizes about killing her father. When I think about it, I probably know more people who have been sexually assaulted (women and men), then those who haven’t. I have seen walking corpses in these people. Someone killed a piece of them and that death, however small you may see it as, deserves just as much punishment as any other.
had to resort to taking one of my mister's perscription pain killers from his dental infection last year.
it worked wonders, but I had to call into work. I was able to sleep very late and tried eating at Denny’s, but shortly after our food arrived the toothache came roaring back. I tried to sleep again, but that wasn’t going to happen. I just took another pain killer so I wont be conscious for very much longer here. what a waste of a day. i’m positive this is a dental infection as the pain keeps spreading and doesn’t really feel like it’s the teeth that are hurting, but rather under them, in my jaw. so I’m going to go to one of those dental college clinics on Monday and hopefully all I’ll need is some antibiotics rather than an extraction (for now at least. my wisdom teeth do need to come out and soon)